Step 3: Set the Date

Figure out when you want to get married, and then make sure that works for all family members. Today, families are busy, so make sure no one is committed to travel or another event they must attend. And once you have a date, or preferably a couple of options for dates that may work, and a guest list, you can get going on your most important task…"

My very beautiful & loving sister is getting married. Coming from a Chinoy family we take the heed of a Feng Shui expert. According to the temple, with regards to my sisters animal sign / birthday & the H2Bs animal sign / birthday, wedding date = Feb to March 2014. What ??!!! so that's a year from now ? Hmmm being that the case . . .  we can't get married this year for fear of "SUKOB" (if you've seen the Kris Aquino Horror Flick then you'd know what I mean LOL). But kidding aside, they say that if siblings marry within a year of each other, one sibling will be "really really lucky" & the other to the dumps. We don't want that happening to us now do we.

So when then ? If my sister is getting married somewhere within February to March 2014, then my wedding date should be . . .  from anywhere April 2015, giving us a full 2 years to plan everything. That's a lot of time on my hands. By then we would already be celebrating our 19 years together. 19 years ! Guess that means better make it 2016, that way it will be our 20th Year Anniversary / Wedding.

That was easy. Now that I have the year, only thing left is the month. Unlike my sister, since am already hitched, I don't need the Feng Shui Master picking me the "Auspicious" date. I would just have to choose between September 12 - our Boyfriend Girlfriend Anniversary OR December 9 - our Civil Wedding Anniversary.

And they say picking a date is so hard WINK WINK

"Keeping the Wedding Guests Happy"

As much as your wedding day is about you and your partner, your wedding guests still play a big role in the importance-stakes. Treat them well and they will give you great atmosphere, lots of laughs and happy memories of your wedding day. Here are some top tips to put your guests’ needs first and keep them all as happy as Larry on your special day.
 

Keep your wedding guests fed

There’s nothing worse than being at a wedding and feeling as though you could eat a horse, and then finding out that your meal is another hour’s wait. Delving into your clutch bag or pocket for a snack to hush your rumbling stomach isn’t considered appropriate wedding etiquette. So, if you’re a bride or groom planning your wedding, keep this nugget of knowledge in mind and don’t leave guests without a canapé or two. The rule is to not leave your guests without food for more than three hours, so ensure to schedule your wedding breakfast, buffet and canapés accordingly. 
 

Keep things short and sweet

If you want happy wedding guests, then don’t make them sit through a two hour wedding ceremony and what seems like an age of wedding speeches afterwards. As much as your guests want to share your wedding day with you, they don’t want to endure a snooze-fest when they would rather be celebrating. Keep proceedings short and sweet and your guests will thank you for it. After all, this allows more time for the fun stuff; drinking, eating, chatting and dancing!

Accommodation options
When you are sending out your wedding invitations, it’s important to keep in mind that some of your guests may have to come from further afield to your wedding. Wedding guests are faced with a list of costs when invited to a wedding, from the gift to a new outfit, so providing your wedding guests with affordable accommodation options is a good way to keep your guests cheerful even before your wedding day. If you have chosen to marry in a swanky countryside hotel, you can’t assume all of your guests will be able afford a night’s stay, so cheaper alternatives nearby (and a list of taxi numbers) is essential.
 

Dietary requirements

With the amount of new diets around and the rise in people recognising food intolerances and allergies, a surefire way to keep your guests content is to ensure there is something suitable for them when it comes to your wedding catering. Vegetarian, vegan, lactose intolerant or coeliac; there needs to be something for everyone. Discuss with your wedding venue or catering service the offered options, then include a ‘tick list’ of dietary preferences with your wedding invitation for guests to outline which option they would like.

Free bar

Probably the ultimate way you could keep your wedding guests happy is to pay for their drinks at your wedding reception. Unrealistic for most wedding budgets, we know, but this is probably the first thing guests would say they’d want in an ideal wedding world. Although, this can be a risk as it inevitably encourages self-indulgence which can easily lead to drunken behaviour – not the classiest wedding reception atmosphere you could hope for.
 

Noise levels at your wedding reception

You will undoubtedly love the tribute band you have hired to entertain your evening guests – the louder the better, in your opinion. But had you thought about your grandparents and other older guests? This ‘racket’ of drums, bass guitar and the enthusiastic lead vocalist may spoil the evening for your grandma. Likewise, your five year old cousin’s little ears may find it too much to handle. Leaving ear plugs on the tables is one option, or just turn down the music! Some venues may even limit the noise levels anyway.
 

Waiting around
One of the things wedding guests really do not enjoy is waiting around in between the ceremony and reception. Granted, photographs must be taken and guests greeted, but while all this is going on, your guests will become progressively bored. While having a microscopic gap between proceedings is unrealistic, providing some form of entertainment is not. Hire musicians to keep your guests content or supply some games for the children. A welcome drink and small talk between unacquainted guests can only go so far, so choose something to bridge the gap.
 

Clear directions

Guests who arrive after a stressful journey will quite possibly remain sour for some time to come. Avoid this tension by providing guests with clear and easy to follow directions to both your ceremony location and wedding reception. Consider alternative routes in case of last-minute road works and alternate public transport options too.
 

Plus ones

Some brides and grooms entertain a ‘no ring, no bring’ policy for their wedding. That is, if a guest is not married or engaged, then they cannot bring a ‘plus one’. While your wedding budget plays a key role in this decision, in order to keep single friends from being sour (or keeping them from not coming at all) then a good move is to allow them to bring a date. Your friend from university who does not know anyone will find it hard to enjoy the celebrations when they’re going it alone.
 

Seating arrangements

Large centrepieces blocking guests’ views, long tables that restrict flow of conversation and strict seating plans are just some of the ways to annoy your wedding guests.  Make your wedding meal more of a fun and sociable affair (no tiffs in site) by choosing small round tables and giving your guests the freedom of choice when it comes to their table setting. If you allocate each guest a table, but then allow them to choose who they sit by, everyone will be happy.

Step 2 : The Guest List

Step 2: 

 
"Define the guest list early. Get going on this sooner than later. For the first draft, just gather all the names and perhaps emails in one location. Excel is a lifesaver to help keep you organized. Here's what you should plug in: how many guests are invited, how many replied, a column for guest names, gifts received, thank-you notes sent, who is invited to the rehearsal dinner, brunch, etc. This spreadsheet will keep your life sane. Well, semi-sane." 

Who to invite ? That is the question. I for one believe that the people who accepted my husband unconditionally would definitely make it to my list. You see, I eloped, and coming from a traditional family where arranged marriages are still observed, that was a capital crime. I know that my family has the best of intentions, they wanted to find a man who could provide security not only to me but for the whole family. I am the eldest of 3, and since my good father left us for another woman ( & another, & another, & another - I lost count) it was my responsibility to take care of the family. I tried, I met a couple of them, ate with them, met their families, dated a few. I could proudly say that almost all the Guys (& their families) approved of me. Thanks but no thanks ! I know, I know, if only I married one of these guys, I would've been rich to my wildest dreams. I'd be a "senorita", big houses, signature everything, top of the line cars etc etc etc. But here I am, living in an old house, trying to make ends meet, dreaming of a wonderful wedding someday SIGH.

SO, the guests would be people who liked my husband even if he's poor, a commoner, a working class.  Somebody who welcomed him in their homes, treated him as family. That wouldn't be so hard, cause frankly that would barely be a handful.

But then, there are "these" people - the influential people, the IN & UP crowd. My husband is in marketing, so he's got to move around the right people otherwise he won't make quota. These people are a lot, although they may not be attached to us emotionally, they mean a lot to our life financially. Yes, yes, it's shameful but true. We have to invite them due to vested interest, so that they will feel bonded to us & continually support my husbands' career. 

Then there's "our friends", the choices would be, his friends, my friends or friends that we made as a couple. Tough decision here. Petty cause it would be awful to invite "friends" who knew our past relationships. They would tend to compare. PARANOID ! LOL 

So, we now go back to who do we invite. Decision : We should, of course definitely invite family - who's been waiting forever for him to marry me in the church. VIPs who would be the ladder to his career & our financial stability. And friends, who knew us as we were growing up, & now knows us as a couple.

Easy enough. 

 

Step 1 : The Scrap Book

Step 1: 

 
"Start a beautiful and inspiring notebook, journal, mood board, or Pinterest board. Whatever it is, start pouring your ideas into it, cutting and pasting everything that inspires you. And since organization is key, a good ol' three ring binder for all budgets, menus, proposals, and contracts will do you just right."

At first I thought since this is the new age, I'd keep everything on a file in the computer, USV, memory card perhaps, that way I can save all the ideas I find on line & revert to it easily. But then, there are stuff that you can't save on line, like flyers & many others. So what's the next best thing? Scrapbook ! With all the DIY ideas & materials the possibilities are endless !

 In this age & time of hi-tech gizmos & gadgets, I am still one of those few individuals who keeps an album. Yes, I admit, I'm old school. I still go and have photos developed & yes I meticulously put them in an album according to "special occasions" as they happen.There is a certain enjoyment in looking at these photos, in flicking the pages of memories. 

So now that I am finally preparing for my wedding, I believe that it is high time to do my very first scrap book to commemorate this joyous occasion.

Always a Bride's Maid, Never a Bride

I will be a Matron of Honor this coming Sunday, the 25th of November 2012. I don't know if it's possible that I'm more excited than the bride LOL. But it's been years since I've been a part of a wedding. Do you know the saying "Always a Bride's Maid NEVER a Bride" ? Well, I wouldn't say that it applies to me since I've been "hitched" since 1996 . . . it's just that I had a Civil Wedding. No white gown, No flowers, No ceremony. So I'm hoping that on our 20th Anniversary - September 12, 2016, I will finally get my dream wedding.

So, to show my optimism, I am starting early. I will start planning.

 Step 1:
"Start a beautiful and inspiring notebook, journal, mood board, or Pinterest board. Whatever it is, start pouring your ideas into it, cutting and pasting everything that inspires you. And since organization is key, a good ol' three ring binder for all budgets, menus, proposals, and contracts will do you just right." 

Step 2:
"Define the guest list early. Get going on this sooner than later. For the first draft, just gather all the names and perhaps emails in one location. Excel is a lifesaver to help keep you organized. Here's what you should plug in: how many guests are invited, how many replied, a column for guest names, gifts received, thank-you notes sent, who is invited to the rehearsal dinner, brunch, etc. This spreadsheet will keep your life sane. Well, semi-sane." 

Step 3:
"Set a date. Figure out when you want to get married, and then make sure that works for all family members. Today, families are busy, so make sure no one is committed to travel or another event they must attend. And once you have a date, or preferably a couple of options for dates that may work, and a guest list, you can get going on your most important task…" 

Step 4:
"Location, location, location. The Internet has made information far more accessible, but you have to know how to search. Blogs can be your best friend when you're looking to uncover a secret gem of a location." 

Step 5:
"Set a desired and realistic budget - giving yourself enough wiggle room for those unexpected or sometimes forgotten costs like lighting (the most important element), rentals, lounge furniture, rush shipping charges on last-minute items, additional guests you didn't think were coming, etc. Remember: Wedding tabs can run high, so before you start committing to vendors, check the price tags. Working without a budget is like building a house without a blueprint." 

Step 6:
"Hold that purchase. Seriously, don't even think about buying that perfect dress you found without having a date or location chosen. Both of these can have tremendous impact on what the look and feel of the wedding is going to be, including the attire. Also, keep in mind that wedding gowns, like all fashion items, are seasonal. Something you see in the summer may not work for a winter wedding. On the other hand, I have designed an entire wedding with an amazing gown as my inspiration. So, if you fall madly in love with a gown and your besties approve, go for it (as long as you're willing to be flexible on the other stuff)!" 

Step 7:
"Create a timetable. It is never going to feel like there are enough hours in the day to get it all done (but you will!), so it's best to stay organized, focusing on one tedious task at a time. There are many timetable templates available online; just plug in your wedding date and a checklist/calendar will be created for you." 

Step 8:
"Try, try, try to enjoy the process, not just the end result. I have seen it all and I can tell you, the couples who have fun planning together have so much more fun at the wedding." 

Step 9:
"If you're not hiring a professional, be sure to have a buttoned-up schedule with all your vendors' duties outlined and a schedule of when everything is being delivered and then broken down. Be sure to send out the schedule to ALL of your vendors and create a master contact sheet so the vendors can contact each other - that way, you're not the only point person on the wedding day. And if you have a resourceful and organized friend who can be the point person on the wedding day, even better." 

Step 10:
"It sounds trite, and it may be, but don't sweat the small stuff. Whether the right flowers didn't arrive in time, or your mother-in-law is making you a bit bananas, take the high road. Remember that the wedding is one day; your marriage is meant to last a lifetime, so the planning process makes a good practice run."